Boys Will Be Boys

As a self-proclaimed "germophobe", I am finding it increasingly difficult to be the mother of boys. Disgusting creatures, they are. They're all the same. Even the little ones. It might even start at birth. It's like they purposefully seek out all things revolting and vile, just to prove that they belong to some sort of All-Men's, Macho club. (More like the He-Man Woman Hater's Club, if you ask me).

Yesterday, we got the rare opportunity to eat dinner out at a local fast food restaurant. We decided to go to Chick Fil 'A, because they were having their weekly Family Night, and all kids ate free. (Free is good. Free speaks our language. Free means we could eat there cheaper than I could make a meal at home).

So, we are all seated at the booth, eating our meals. There was not much talking going on, because the food is just so stinkin' good! Eventually, Jay and I start discussing a book he is currently reading, the kids were reading their kid's meal bags and toys (Chick Fil 'A kids meal toys - unlike the other fast food restaurants - are always very eduational and entertaining), and Jay and I were taking turns eating our own food and feeding the baby her meal (she can now eat an entire 4 piece nugget meal complete with fruit cup all on her own!).

All of a sudden, I turn my head to where B had been sitting next to me, and noticed that he was gone! My immediate motherly instinct is to panic and frantically search until I find him. I don't have to search for long. After only a couple of times hearing his name called, he pops out from under the table, smiling his little "I've done something bad, but I am gonna show you how cute I am" smile. So, Jay and I start questioning him.

Me: Where did you go, buddy?

B: Nowhere.

Me: But you weren't in your seat. Where were you?

B: Just under the table.

Jay: Why were you under the table?

B: I don't know. (and here is when that smile returns, so we know something's up)

Me: What were you doing?

B: Nothing.

Jay: Tell us what you did.

B: Nothing! (smiles increase)

With a sigh, Jay goes back to feeding the baby, motioning that he doesn't even want to know anymore. Then I hear B mumble something interesting under his breath.

I am shocked. Did I just hear what I think I heard?

Me: What did you just say?

B (very matter-of-factly): Um, I just said that I saw a bunch of food down there, so I crawled under the table and I ate it.

I think the horrified look on my face said it all. He proceeded to explode into giggly laughter, finding some sick pleasure and delight by informing me of how delicious it was. Ugh!

Boys. Disgusting creatures. They really are.

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UPDATE: After a few days with a high fever, we finally took B in to see the doctor. A mere $200 later, we learn that he has strep throat!
I wonder.... Where, oh where, could he have gotten that??? Hmm....
Score 1 for the germophobes! :o)