Wednesday, May 21, 2008

A Bump in the Night

So there we were...

Bellies full... dinner dishes done... kids tucked away in bed... comfy clothes on...

And we FINALLY sit down in our easy chairs and exhale a huge breath of relief.

Peace at last!

Bump.

I look in the vicinity, but hear nothing more.

Bump.

I ignore it, thinking it was the dishwasher hard at work.

Bump... Bump!

Well, that didn't sound like dishes being sprayed with water. Hmm...

BUMP.

Uh oh... That sounds like a critter in my house.
I tell J, who is oblivious to any and all noises.
He reluctantly stops what he is doing and we listen in silence.

BUMP

Okay. That was definitely not imagined. J hears it, too. We take a moment to look at each other, telepathically trying to decide who will be the first one to go into the kitchen to check it out.

A stare-down is in progress. I think I am winning...

BUMP!

They are getting louder. It has to be a mouse...

BUMP BUMP!

or a giant nasty rat! EEK!

We finally decide to go investigate it together. (Strength in numbers, you know...)

BUMP, BUMP, BUMP, BUMP, BUMP.

Whatever it is, it knows we are coming for it... and it is scared.
So are we, but we try not to let the "bump" know it...

BUMP BUMP BUMP!

It is coming from the ceiling... Hmm... that's weird...

BUMP!

The kitchen light. It's in the light fixture! How in the world did it get in there?
We make plans to capture it. I get a plastic bag. J gets protective gloves (you never know what kind of diseases these critters can carry).

J, being the taller of the two of us, reaches the light fixture and slowly begins to pull it down so we can see what terrifying creature awaits to devour us...

The next few moments are a bit of a blur...

The terrifying creature leaps at my head (obviously intending to devour me).
Which of us had the louder, girly-er screams is anybody's guess. Regardless, there were several high-pitched screams (from both of us), which would have given anyone the assumption that a mass murder was taking place in our house at that very moment.

Due to my expert kicking-and-flailing maneuver, the creature just barely missed my head (and its opportunity to devour my face), and landed on the kitchen floor.

Everything became perfectly still. Including the creature. Maybe it was dead after such a high fall. J and I looked down to discover what the terrifying creature who had wanted to devour us was...



A frog.

Not a mouse. Not a giant nasty rat. Not even a terrifying creature that wanted to devour us.

A frog.

Thankfully the poor thing was not dead, just in shock.
Somehow it still took both of us to corral the thing out the back door (What? Those things are jumpy little boogers!)
We then go back to our easy chairs, slump down, exhausted, and take one more sigh of relief at the peace that has come to our house once again.
We spend the remainder of our peaceful evening looking at each other, smirking about our "near-death experience", and trying to figure out how in the world a FROG ended up in the light fixture of our kitchen ceiling!

2 comments:

Bethd said...

Wonderful job, Michelle! You are a great storyteller. I'll check your blog often.

Misty Burns said...

oh i love it!! michelle, i can see jay now! hahahaha. you are quite the story teller! kind of reminds me of this story I once heard..something about a slurpy and a robbery. ya heard of that one?? hahahaha. i am so glad you have a blog!