I love my children. I truly do.
Some days, though, like when it has been raining for days and they have cabin fever and are running around the house like little rabid beasts, I need a little reminding.
This is one of those reminders...
My 4 year old little boy comes into the living room and, with arms raised to the ceiling, confidently announces to the rest of us, "Hey, everybody. Listen up! I am gonna preach right now."
Aww... my sweet boy wants to follow in his daddy's footsteps and be a preacher. And right now, he has something important to say.
The rest of us stop what we are doing and listen patiently...
"But first, I need to go over there and get ready," he says as he rushes over to the hallway. Moments later, we can hear the faint sound of his sweet little voice, uttering a quick prayer. (Quick indeed, because he ran back to the living room about 10 seconds later).
"Okay," he says, holding up a toy that he pretends is his microphone, "if anybody wants to tell me what to preach about today, raise your hands."
Several hands go up. Since I, of course, am his favorite, he chooses me. He points the microphone towards me, expectantly waiting for my response. Now, a mischievous thought crossed my mind. I thought about asking him to preach on the transfiguration, or some other thing that he would have no idea about, just to see what he would say. But when I looked at his gorgeous baby blue eyes, my heart melted along with all of my mischief. Instead, I decided on a topic that he should be familiar with, and that way I could see what kind of grasp he had on the subject.
"How about you preach on getting baptized?"
He thinks for a moment. Then he begins. And he takes his role as "preacher" seriously. He puts a serious look on his face, takes deep, deliberate breaths, walks around the room with confidence, and holds his open hand up as if to "testify". I have to admit, he is just so cute! I have to actually hold my hand over my mouth just to keep from giggling at his absolute cute-ness.
"Well, if you love Jesus," he begins.
Okay... so far so good.
"then you can go down to the river."
Wow, he's going the authentic route. Cool.
"But you have to watch out for the alligators."
"And then you get in the water - and if it's cold you still have to go in and just be brave."
Okay. Maybe we're still on the right track...
"And then you hold your breath and go under the water and you swim down, down, down all the way to the bottom."
Okay. We will have to talk about just how far under the water a person goes when they get baptized. No big deal...
"And when you get down there, you watch out for the alligators and swim away from them when they get near you."
Again with the alligators! What gives?
"Then you open your eyes under the water and look all around and pick them all up and put them in a bag."
I hope he doesn't mean alligators. How is putting alligators in a bag related to how people get baptized? Oh well, since he is so confident in what he is saying, I will let him continue, and make a mental note to discuss it with him later.
"Then you bring them home and put them in your bathtub and you glue them in there."
Okay... this is getting a little too weird for me. I decide to interrupt the "sermon" and ask him a question. I raise my hand.
"Excuse me, Mr. Preacher, sir? What are you preaching about again?"
After an impatient sigh, rolling of the eyes, and a grumbling lecture about how people need to always pay attention to the preacher when he is giving his sermon, he replies, exasperated.
"I am preaching about how people get bath tiles!"
Baptized... Bath Tiles (tomato/tomoto)... simple mistake... Right?
Okay fine. So he wont be the next Paul Washer, or have people hanging on his every word. And he isn't quite ready to get behind the pulpit just yet. But if, in a few years, he decides he does want to follow in his daddy's footsteps and become a pastor, we will send that boy to Seminary....
..... although we should probably get his hearing checked first....
7 years ago